Providing Comfort for Victims of Abuse (Part 4 of 4)

– posted by Tadua

“The God of all comfort … comforts us in all our trials.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 [From ws 5/19 p.14 Study Article 20: July 15-21, 2019]

The first 7 paragraphs are a good summary of some of the effects of child abuse.

But sadly the incorrect JW doctrine enters to spoil the article in Paragraph 8 “Such widespread abuse is clear evidence that we are living in the last days, a time when many have “no natural affection” and when “wicked men and impostors will advance from bad to worse.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13)”

Widespread abuse is no evidence that we are living in the last days. Is there evidence that the incidence of abuse has greatly increased? Or is it just that it is more reported on, or better known than in the past? In his letter to Timothy, Paul was referring to the fast approaching end of the Jewish nation, which was foretold by Jesus to occur while the generation he preached to was still alive. More importantly did Jesus say we would be able to realize we were living in the days just prior to Armageddon?

Matthew 24:49 records Jesus as warning “On this account YOU too prove yourselves ready, because at an hour that YOU do not think to be it, the Son of man is coming”

So, to claim we are living in the last days is to contradict Jesus. He said when “you do not think to be it”, and in Matthew 24:36 “Concerning that day and hour nobody knows, neither the angels of the heavens nor the Son, but only the Father.” What makes the Organization think they know better than the angels and Jesus?

The section “Who can provide comfort?” tries to push the elders as the source of comfort.

Surely, those best placed to help victims are those who have suffered similarly and recovered. They can therefore more easily understand what the victim is going through. Those who are next best placed to help are professionals who are trained to assist such ones and have experience doing so. Elders, even genuinely caring ones, may likely never had to help such a victim before. Regardless of their sincerity, and their Bible knowledge, they will be highly inexperienced and ill-equipped to properly assist such victims. As such they could do more harm than good.

For example, how would they answer this question from a victim “I prayed to Jehovah asking him to stop the abuser, but why did the abuse continue”? Would the elders be prepared to admit that despite Watchtower articles suggesting the opposite, the evidence in the scriptures is that God, only rarely, intervened on behalf of an individual, and this is when the outcome of his purpose is at stake. Or would an elder be prepared to admit that (if the abuser was an appointed man) Jehovah does not have the Holy Spirit appoint elders and servants in the congregation, but rather they are appointments by men?

For congregation members, paragraph 13 contains good advice saying regarding, “1 Kings 19:5-8. That account illustrates a useful truth: Sometimes a simple act of practical kindness can do a great deal of good. Perhaps a meal, a modest gift, or a thoughtful card would assure a downhearted brother or sister of our love and concern. If we feel uncomfortable discussing very personal or painful subjects, perhaps we can still give such practical help.”.

Paragraph 14 suggests: “For instance, elders should keep in mind that a distressed sister may feel safer and more comfortable having a cup of tea in a relaxed setting at home than she would in a Kingdom Hall conference room. Another might feel the opposite.” Although the picture shows another sister present, (and therefore the elders accepting it), the footnote mentions the sister (the victim) invited the other sister, not the elders. Why does it not recommend that when elders are making this type of visit they should suggest to the victim that the victim might like to have a close friend present and that would be more than acceptable to them?

Paragraphs 15-17 give good reminders about being good listeners. However, encouraging professional help would perhaps be better, with this type of help being more useful later in the healing process.

The concluding paragraphs deal with suggestions as to how to pray earnestly with victims and choose the right words to say, and some good scriptures to share with them.

All of this is good, but as shown in our review of last week’s study article, how much better it would be if only the Organization would make changes to their unscriptural, unloving policies, so that the number of victims was minimized in the first place.

At least we can whole-heartedly agree with the concluding comments:

Meanwhile, let us do all we can to show love to those who have experienced abuse. Moreover, how comforting it is to know that Jehovah will permanently heal all those who have been abused by Satan and his world! Soon, these painful things will never again come up into the mind or heart. Isaiah 65:7”.

Archived Comments

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  • Comment by Atromitos on 2019-07-14 12:15:31

    A 'modest gift' can never go wrong.. particularly if it's chocolate! :D

    Seriously now, nice article, thanks Tadua. Very challenging series done well.

  • Comment by jamesbrown on 2019-07-15 01:01:24

    Hi all

    After last weeks WT, I approached 2 elders on 2 separate occasions and asked if they have searched the internet to see how the organisation is going on this subject world wide.

    They said no need we get everything via slave class & its wonderful how the organisation is showing great love to the victims & NO other organisation has this kind of love.

    I said, I read that a great number is suing the organisation and got millions from us.

    One response was, just wait & see what Jehovah will do to them & their money, because they are stealing from Jehovah. The other said, dont believe everything you read on the internet, we have an organisation that tells us the whole truth and is being built on LOVE.

    I dont know what to say to some people that are so blind, truly Satan has blinded their minds & hearts.

    Love to you all

  • Comment by messenger on 2019-07-17 22:05:13

    New York's governor recently signed a new piece of legislation, the Child Victims Act. It allows victims to file claims of sexual abuse that were not previously allowed to, because their statutes of limitations ran out. All victims who have considered a lawsuit against WT, but were prohibited due to a statute of limitations, should immediately reconsider. And if they decide to proceed now is the time, since this window of opportunity starts on August 14, 2019, and it will run out after July 2020.

  • Comment by Atromitos on 2019-08-13 03:23:15

    In the weeks since this study, the reaction of the congregation to a known victim has been very revealing.

    Mass avoidance, even by elders. Those considered friends - a quick hello whilst rushing past. Eye contact quickly broken.

    No criticism of ordinary people. The organisation put them into an impossible position by suggesting they could take a central role in comforting those sexually abused in childhood. This matter should never have been raised as a public discussion, for anyones sake.

    It was selfish and self serving, and hurt those it was claiming to help.

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