WT Study: Providing Care for the Elderly

– posted by meleti

[Watchtower study for the week of May 26, 2014 – w14 3/15 p. 26]


The purpose of this site is principally to deepen our study and understanding of the Bible. With that in mind, this week’s study article in The Watchtower doesn’t offer much in the way of greater scriptural insight. It is more of a How-To article relating helpful suggestions, particularly for those facing the often daunting task of properly caring for parents with illness and/or declining abilities. Having been there myself, such ones have my deepest sympathies. The task, although rewarding and praiseworthy, can also be onerous and burdensome, particularly when there is little assistance from other family members. More often than not, only one or two shoulder the responsibility while others keep their distance. It is a sorry state of affairs when that happens. Nevertheless, this is a means of exhibiting our true level of godly devotion. The real heart condition of all involved becomes manifest—not to Jehovah, for he can read hearts, but to the rest.
In any case, given that the nature of the study is not really scriptural, but practical, there is little for us to comment on with the exception perhaps of this quote in paragraph 5:

“This ‘is almost invariably the worst possible time to make such a decision,’ observes one expert.”


We have a penchant for quoting experts without naming them, nor providing references to verify the validity and context of the quotation. I don’t know why we do this, but personally I find it annoying and unprofessional. In any case, we acknowledge that there are experts, so if you are in the situation of needing to decide how best to care for aging parents, there is a plethora of information available to you. I just went on Amazon and searched on “caring for aging parents” and got pages of self-help guides. I am in no position to endorse any of them. Nor, as we tend to do in the Organization for all “worldly sources”, will I dismiss any of them. I merely mention that there is a great deal of information out there and that if we use the principles in the Bible to guide us as mature Christians we can determine what is worthwhile and what to discard. This we can do for ourselves without the overweening patriarchal influence which has long constrained us.
 

Archived Comments

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  • Comment by imacountrygirl2 on 2014-05-25 18:29:28

    This is a sad commentary on a magazine whose mission is "to deepen our study and understanding of the Bible"; although it may prove helpful to those who are able to undertake the physical and emotional challenges of caring for an elderly loved one.
    There are also local resources to help with caregiving, though often you have to search hard to find them. In the USA, there is usually a "Council on Aging" within the state that can be of assistance.

  • Comment by Chris on 2014-05-25 18:45:51

    "We have a penchant for quoting experts without naming them, nor providing references to verify the validity and context of the quotation. I don’t know why we do this, but personally I find it annoying and unprofessional."
    I couldn't agree more. Surely they could at least provide numbered reference at the end of their articles? It's what any credible journalist would do.
    What is an expert anyway? Such a loose term like 'doctor'
    Many so called experts have no credentials and there are degrees of expertise. They could be asking a brother or sister who works in a rest home for all we know.
    But I suppose it's symptomatic of the whole "trust us" mentality the GB has fostered.
    I am just glad that I am able to detect such obvious fraudsters thanks to my degree in Advanced Bamboozlology from the University of Golden Love .
    It was worth every penny of the $199 I paid for the online tutorial.
    And you can quote me ;)

  • Comment by imacountrygirl2 on 2014-05-25 18:53:58

    Chris, It's too bad you missed the QCV special. I got that same degree in Advanced Bamboozlology, also from UGL, for four equal payments of 49.99. Mine came with a Double Your Money Back Guarantee. Mine was a much better deal...trust me!

    • Reply by Chris on 2014-05-25 19:00:03

      Darn it!
      Four equal payments of $49.99 is a much cheaper deal.
      Pays to shop around, I'll know for next time, Thanks :)

      • Reply by kianswee on 2014-05-30 21:52:09

        True,Chris.Pays to shop around.I believe there's no church/organization in the world that can claim to be the 100% God-approved one.For me,it's no issue to move from church to church.The aim is for God to approve of us 100%.Individually,rather than "as a group".I'm currently attending both the J.W. kingdom hall and a Baptist church.Some of the J.W.s know this and I won't hesitate to tell those who don't.This attendance at a church would be unthinkable for the typical J.W.,after having been indoctrinated for years.I've "studied the Bible" with them for years and even though to this day I'm unbaptized by them the indoctrination was so strong that I found great difficulty walking into a church and only as recently as weeks ago I made the move.I frequently prayed for God's guidance and the courage to explore websites like this albeit being frequently told by them that these websites are run by apostates and damaging to one's faith in God and His Word.Once,when the D.O. told me this and I told him that these websites actually helped to increase my faith in God and His Word(by serious research & study),while,at the same time,the faith that I had in the Society greatly diminishes.Seems many are now kind of "shunning" me.Some of my comments at the meetings came from this website.Nowadays,study conductors try their best to avoid giving me the chance to comment,for instance,time's up.

  • Comment by Anonymous on 2014-05-26 10:09:50

    I just did a Google search for the text "is almost invariably the worst possible time to make such a decision" and got a result that took me to a youtube comment that quotes a portion of a book entitled: "Providing Care For The Elderly" by Shafus T. Moultrey.
    I cannot find any "official" online presence for this book. If it does exist it is likely an old publication. I wonder how much of that Watchtower article is based on advice found in that "worldly" book? LOL

  • Comment by Anonymous on 2014-05-26 10:16:13

    Is the link below, the expert that the article is quoting? Why is this expert's publication so hard to find online?
    https://plus.google.com/113718643083330278806/posts/V6nTqzYbTiL

  • Comment by emilyjeff on 2014-05-26 12:22:46

    I rarely post on this site as I no longer consider myself an active Jehovah’s Witness. However, this article on Providing Care for the Elderly happens to be one of the few articles that I am not offended by. I think it is for the most part balanced and fair. I agree with Meleti that we should not need or expect the WT to do the research for us. One would think that being good Christians the children of such parents would display the love and respect that the Bible speaks of and would be willing and eager to do such research to benefit those unable to do it for themselves.
    Below are a few of quotes from the Bible that apply to this subject:
    “Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God… Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:3,4,8
    “Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Ephesians 6:2,3
    “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:32
    These passages from the Bible show how Christians should view the taking care of those in need, especially family members. It is not an option it is a requirement.
    There is not enough respect for the wisdom and experience of the aged. Once they are gone, all their memories, perspective and wisdom will become a distant memory. They are really living history and when they are gone the priceless treasure of a living history will die with them and be lost. I for one have always liked talking to the elderly even when I was young. To hear them speak of things they witnessed was wonderful as they were actually there. That indeed is living history.
    Another thing to remember is that all of us, if we live that long, will become at some point that “depressed, confused, incontinent” aged person. " Remember the Golden Rule - “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” Matthew 7:12

  • Comment by Dorcas on 2014-05-26 16:12:38

    Meleti, your commentary is spot on. Information like this does NOT belong in a WT magazine, especially for a study on Sunday. Although I am in this position, I did not wait for the WT to come to my aid with an article to help me. I have several books on caring for aged parents which are more complete and certainly more authoritative than the WT's non-specific "authorities" and "experts." Hey, I think you and I qualify as experts in caring for the elderly, don't we?
    What I needed from yesterday's, next week's and every week's study is real Scriptural meat, information that will draw me closer to God and his Son, not a fairy tale version of what I'm going through in real life. Thank you, Apollos and everyone who contribute to this site. I feel as though my "religion" has let me down....but you are here to pick up the pieces.

  • Comment by kev c on 2014-05-26 17:05:12

    I just hope they are honouring the aged witnesses who have given their whole lives to the service of the society the bethelites the special pioneers ect. Those with no money or insurances or pensions .ive read tonight theres a few people in spain that are cheesed off i dont know how true it is .

    • Reply by Meleti Vivlon on 2014-05-26 17:24:12

      This new arrangement whereby the C.O.s and D.O.s over 70 are being sent out as special pioneers has got me wondering. No one can live on the stipend a special pioneer gets. So how is a 70-year-old couple going to make ends meet when they've been living the comfortable live of a circuit overseer for the past 20 or 30 or 40 years? To make matters worse, the congregation are being told to discontinue the congregation apartments or living quarters many halls have.

    • Reply by kev c on 2014-05-26 17:38:36

      Perhaps thats another reason why they wrote the article it will probably be the responsiblity of the congregation or the children to look after them entirely that is of course unless the children are needed at bethel or similar

  • Comment by Vonn on 2014-05-26 20:37:15

    Just testing to see if I can post, been having a little trouble with my email.

  • Comment by Vonn on 2014-05-26 21:39:02

    Still working my connections, I think I've got it. Thanks for your patience brothers.

  • Comment by cooljazz62 on 2014-05-26 21:39:39

    One more time

  • Comment by cooljazz62 on 2014-05-26 21:41:32

    Okay brothers, I will be posting as cooljazz62. Hopefully my computer, (which has been giving me no end of problems will now cooperate) I had to re-log into the wordpress site and re-do everything. Hopefully everythings been taken care of. Thanks for your patience in advance.

  • Comment by brendaevans32 on 2014-05-29 07:52:18

    Hi everyone
    I was remembering the Saturday morning trips I would take my mum out to buy her weekly munchies and then staying with her for a cup of tea, a good natter and for her to say for the umpteenth time that my husband would be wondering where I had got to - while I was going through this study.
    I regularly thought about those wonderful words which Emilyjeff says, and I mentioned it a time or two in my answers in this study and last week's study - Do unto others as you would have done to you.
    And when I finished the study and prayed to Jehovah thanking Him, I remembered all the times that I would share information, experiences, thoughts, things said, things done which mum and I would do while I did visit her each Saturday morning - and I absolutely loved and love sharing these with my brother and sister.
    There was no aid guide I used, just simply did what we could to help mum enjoy her last three or four years. And I think that this is key, no matter who you are.
    As luck would have it, some of my jobs involved being a Care Assistant, so I knew what to do and how to do it if the time came when mum needed that extra care. For me, again, it boils down to treating folk how you would like to be treated. So, when I would take a lady to the bathroom to toilet herself (as was the rule of thumb with eg those suffering from Dementia or incontinence), it was done as if I had been taken to the bathroom.
    And I loved helping some of these people pamper and listening to them talk. There were some who were really mentally keen and got some cracking conversations with them. Then there were some who had gone to some moment or moments in their earlier years and telling me of what they are seeing literally as if they are there - the stuff what would come out. It was usually a shame to have to break away to just go and get the teapot on the go. You could listen to them for ages.
    In my responses these days, I try to think outside a congregation, as the person on the street. When I get told that there are over 8 million members, I also think that there are many people who are not members - and although this article is written generally and quite arbitrary, it is also written, at times, as if support is found only within the congregation. My response is that there are other Churches out there who equally have congregations who love and capable of lovingly supporting folk. When I cared for mum, sometimes I might have been going to Churches, sometimes I didn't. The same honour, respect, love and desire to help someone is found everywhere.
    The main gist I continuously felt was the thread of honouring our parents and elder members of society, wanting to do as much by them as we can. Even just a quick phone call makes all the difference.
    I haven't checked, but I dare say there is a whole plethora of advice on what to do and how to do it when someone gets older and need that bit more thought and help to maintain their quality of life.
    But one thing I did enjoy thinking about - it is far better to do something rather than just simply saying 'Go in peace and be well fed' - far better to do something about it. The person benefits and we benefit when we put into action our love.

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