Ifuna UBawo

[Iakhawunti yobuqu, igalelo likaJim Mac]

Ndicinga ukuba inokuba kwakusekupheleni kwehlobo lika-1962, iTelstar by the Tornadoes yayidlala kunomathotholo. Ndandichitha iintsuku zasehlotyeni kwiSiqithi saseBute esikunxweme olusentshona lwaseSkotlani. Sasinendlu yasemaphandleni. Lalingenamanzi okanye umbane. Umsebenzi wam yayikukugcwalisa izikhongozeli zamanzi kwiqula elidityanelweyo. Iimazi zeenkomo zazisondela ngobulumko zize zijonge. Amathole amancinane ayakuchwechwela ukuze ajongwe ngaphambili.

Ngorhatya, sasihlala ngasezibaneni zeparafini size siphulaphule amabali size sisitye iipanekuku ezisandul’ ukwenziwa ezihlanjwe ngeendondo ezincinci zestout esiswiti. Izibane zabangela isandi esibuhlungu kwaye zabangela ukuba umntu alale. Ndalala apho ebhedini yam ndibukele iinkwenkwezi ziphuma ngefestile; ngamnye kubo kwaye ndandizaliswe yimvakalelo yoloyiko entliziyweni yam njengoko indalo iphela yayingena egumbini lam.

Iinkumbulo zobuntwana ezilolo hlobo zazidla ngokundityelela yaye zazindikhumbuza indlela endandiphila ngayo ngokomoya ukususela ebuntwaneni, nangona ndandisenza ngokwam umntwana.

Ndandinentlungu yokwazi ukuba ngubani owadala iinkwenkwezi, inyanga, kunye nesiqithi esihle esasikude kakhulu neClydeside yaseGlasgow apho amadoda angasebenziyo ayezulazula kwiikona zezitrato njengabalinganiswa abavela kwipeyinti yaseLoury. Apho iintente zasemva kwemfazwe zivale ukukhanya kwendalo. Apho izinja ezimdaka zaziqokelela imigqomo ukuze zifumane izinto ezilahliweyo. Apho kwakusoloko kubonakala, kwakukho iindawo ezibhetele zokukhulisa. Kodwa, sifunda ukujongana nobomi besandla esisipha sona.

Okulusizi kukuba, utata wavala amehlo xa ndandifikelela kwiminyaka elishumi elinesibini ubudala; ixesha elinzima kumntwana ofikisayo okhulayo ngaphandle kobukho besandla esinothando, kodwa esomeleleyo. Umama waba likhoboka lotywala, ngoko kwiinkalo ezininzi ndandindedwa.

Ngenye imva kwemini yangeCawa emva kwemini, ndandihleli ndifunda incwadi ethile eyayibhalwe yimonki yaseTibet—ndicinga ukuba yayiyindlela yam yokungabi nangqondo yokufuna injongo yobomi. Kwankqonkqozwa emnyango. Andisayikhumbuli intshayelelo yale ndoda, kodwa yafunda eyesi-2 kuTimoti 3:1-5 enengxaki yokuthetha kabuhlungu. Ndayihlonela inkalipho yakhe njengoko wayemana emana ukubheka ngapha nangapha okomfundisi-ntsapho ofunda iMishnah njengoko ephuthaphutha ukuze akhuphe amagama. Ndamcela ukuba abuye kwiveki elandelayo ndilungiselela iimviwo.

Noko ke, loo mazwi wayewafunda ayenkenteza ezindlebeni zam kuyo yonke loo veki. Omnye umntu wakha wandibuza ukuba kukho umlinganiswa osencwadini, ndingazifanisa naye? INkosana Myshkin evela kwiDostoevsky Idiot, ndaphendula. UMyshkin, umlinganiswa oyintloko kaDostoevsky, waziva ehlukanisiwe nehlabathi lakhe elizingcayo lenkulungwane yeshumi elinesithoba kwaye wayengaqondwa kakuhle kwaye eyedwa.

Ngoko, xa ndeva amazwi akweyesi- 2 kuTimoti 3 , uThixo wale ndalo iphela wawuphendula umbuzo endandisoloko ndiphuthaphutha, othi, kutheni ihlabathi linje?

Kwiveki elandelayo lo mzalwana weza nomnye wabadala, umveleli owongamelayo. Kwaqaliswa isifundo INyaniso ekhokelela kuBomi obuNaphakade. Kwiiveki ezimbini kamva, umveleli owongamelayo weza nomveleli wesiphaluka owayebizwa ngokuba nguBob, owayesakuba ngumvangeli wasemazweni. Ndikhumbula loo mvakwemini ngazo zonke iinkcukacha. UBob wathatha isitulo setafile yokutyela wasichophela ngaphambili, wabeka iingalo zakhe kwindawo engasemva waza wathi, 'Ke, ngaba unayo nayiphi na imibuzo malunga noko ukufundileyo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku?'

'Enyanisweni, kukho enye endididayo. Ukuba uAdam wayenobomi obungunaphakade, kuthekani ukuba wakhubeka waza wawela eliweni?'

‘Masijonge INdumiso 91:10-12 ,’ waphendula ngelitshoyo uBob.

Ngokuba uya kuziwisela umthetho ngawe izithunywa zakhe, ukuba zikugcine ezindleleni zakho zonke.

Zokuthwala ngezandla, hleze ubetheke etyeni ngonyawo lwakho.

UBob wahlabela mgama esithi esi yayisisiprofeto esiphathelele uYesu kodwa waqiqa ngelokuba sasinokusebenza kuAdam nakuyo yonke intsapho yoluntu eyafumana iparadesi.

Kamva, omnye umzalwana wandixelela omnye umntu owabuza uBob umbuzo ongaqhelekanga: 'Ukuba iArmagedon ifikile, kuthekani ngoosomajukujuku basesibhakabhakeni?'

UBob waphendula ngoObhadiya ivesi 4,

            Nokuba uthe wakhela phezulu njengexhalanga, Wakha indlu yakho ezinkwenkwezini;

            Ndiya kukuhlisa apho, utsho uYehova.

Indlela iBhayibhile eyiphendula ngayo le mibuzo yandichukumisa. Ndathengiswa kumbutho. Ndabhaptizwa kwiinyanga ezisithoba kamva ngoSeptemba 1979.

Unokubuza imibuzo, kodwa ungabuzi iimpendulo

Noko ke, kwiinyanga ezintandathu nangaphezulu, kukho into eyayindikhathaza. Sasinabathanjiswa abambalwa ababelapho, yaye ndandizibuza ukuba kutheni bengazange babe negalelo ‘kokutya kokomoya’ esasikufumana. Zonke izinto esizifundileyo zazingenanto yakwenza nala malungu abizwa ngokuba Udidi Lwekhoboka Elithembekileyo. Ndayiphakamisa le nto komnye wabadala. Akazange andinike impendulo eyanelisayo, kanye kukuba maxa wambi abo belo qela badla ngokuthumela imibuzo baze babe negalelo kumanqaku maxa wambi. Ndavakalelwa kukuba oku akuzange kuhambelane nomzekelo awathetha ngawo uYesu. Ezi bezifanele ukuba ziphambili kunenqaku elithi 'occasional'. Kodwa andizange ndiyenze ibe ngumcimbi. Nangona kunjalo, kwiveki kamva, ndazibona sele ndiphawulwe.

Umyalezo wawucacile, ngena emgceni. Ndandinokwenza ntoni? Le ntlangano yayinamazwi obomi obungunaphakade, okanye kwakubonakala kunjalo. Ukumakishwa kwakukhohlakele kwaye kungafanelekanga. Andiqinisekanga ukuba yintoni ebuhlungu kakhulu, ukumaka okanye ukuba ndijonge lo bhuti njengotata othembekileyo. Ndaphinda ndandedwa.

Sekunjalo, ndazicoca ndaza ndazimisela entliziyweni yam ukwenza inkqubela ndibe sisicaka solungiselelo ndize ekugqibeleni ndibe ngumdala. Xa abantwana bam bakhula baza basishiya isikolo, ndaba nguvulindlela.

Ilali yasePotemkin

Ngelixa imiba emininzi yeemfundiso iqhubeka indikhathaza, enye inkalo yombutho eyandibangela eyona ngxaki yayikukungabikho kothando. Yayingasoloko iyimiba emikhulu, ekhwankqisayo, kodwa yayiyimicimbi yemihla ngemihla njengokuhleba, ukunyelisa kunye nokwaphula iimfihlo ngokuncokola nomqamelo nabafazi babo. Kwakukho iinkcukacha zemiba yenkundla ekwakufanele ukuba iphelele kwiikomiti kodwa yabhengezwa esidlangalaleni. Ngokufuthi ndandidla ngokucinga ngempembelelo oku ‘kungafezeki’ okunokuba nayo kumaxhoba okungakhathali okunjalo. Ndikhumbula ndikwindibano eyayiseYurophu ndithetha nomnye udade. Emva koko, kwafika omnye umzalwana waza wathi, ‘laa dade ubuthetha ngaye njengonongogo. Bendingadingi ukuyazi lonto. Mhlawumbi wayezama ukuphila ixesha elidluleyo.

Kwiintlanganiso zabadala kwakukho ukruthakruthwano ngegunya, ukuzingca okuphaphazelayo, ukuxambulisana okuthe rhoqo, yaye kwakungekho ntlonelo ngoMoya kaThixo eyayifunwa ekuqaleni kwentlanganiso.

Ikwandixhalabisa nokuba abantu abasebatsha babeza kukhuthazwa ukuba babhaptizwe beneminyaka elishumi elinesithathu ubudala baze emva koko bagqibe kwelokuba baye kuhlwayela ioats yabo yasendle baze bazifumane sele besusiwe kubudlelane, emva koko, bahlale ngasemva ngelixa belindele ukubuyiselwa. Oku kwakuchasene nomzekeliso woNyana wolahleko oyise owambona ‘ekude’ waza wenza amalungiselelo okubhiyoza nokumbeka ngesidima unyana wakhe oguqukileyo.

Ukanti, njengombutho, siye savalela amazwi othando olukhethekileyo esasinalo. Yonke yayiyidolophana yasePotemkin engazange ibonise ubunyani bento eyenzekayo.

Ndiyakholelwa ukuba abaninzi baye babuyele ezingqondweni xa bejamelene nomonzakalo wobuqu kwaye nam ndandinjalo. Ngo-2009, ndandinikela intetho yesidlangalala kwibandla elikufutshane. Xa umfazi wam wayephuma eholweni, waziva efuna ukuwa.

'Masiye esibhedlele,' ndatsho.

'Hayi, ungakhathazeki, ndifuna nje ukungqengqa.'

'Hayi, nceda, masihambe,' ndanyanzelisa.

Emva kokuxilongwa ngokucokisekileyo, ugqirha omncinci wamthumela kwi-CT scan, kwaye wabuya neziphumo. Waqinisekisa uloyiko lwam olubi. Ibilithumba ebuchotsheni. Enyanisweni, emva kophando olongezelelweyo, waba namathumba amaninzi, kuquka nomhlaza kwi-lymph gland.

Ngenye ingokuhlwa xa wayemtyelele esibhedlele, kwabonakala ukuba wayesiba mandundu. Emva kotyelelo, ndatsibela emotweni ndayokwazisa umama wakhe. Kwawa ikhephu elikhulu eSkotlani ngaloo veki, yayindim ndedwa umqhubi kuhola wendlela. Ngequbuliso, imoto yaphelelwa ngamandla. Ndaphelelwa ngamafutha. Nditsalele umnxeba kwinkampani yesilayidi, yaza intombazana yandazisa ukuba abayingeni imicimbi yamafutha. Ndafowunela isizalwane sam ndicela uncedo.

Emva kwemizuzu embalwa enye indoda yamisa emva kwam yaza yathi, 'Ndikubonile kwelinye icala, ngaba ufuna uncedo?' Amehlo am ebesehla iinyembezi ngenxa yobubele balomntu ndingamaziyo. Wenze uhambo lweekhilomitha ezili-12 ukuya nokubuya ukuze eze kuncedisa. Kukho amaxesha ebomini axhentsa ezintloko zethu. Abantu esingabaziyo esidibana nabo, nangona okomzuzwana, kodwa asize sibalibale. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa emva koku kudibana, umfazi wam wasweleka. Bekungo February 2010.

Nangona ndandingumdala onguvulindlela nophila ubomi obuxakekileyo, ndabufumanisa bubuhlungu ubulolo baloo ngokuhlwa. Ndandiqhuba imizuzu engama-30 ukuya kwimall ekufutshane ndize ndihlale nekofu ndibuyele ekhaya. Ngesinye isihlandlo, ndakhwela inqwelo-moya engabizi kangako ndisiya eBratislava yaye ndandizibuza isizathu sokuba ndiyenze loo nto emva kokuba ndifikile. Ndivele ndanesithukuthezi okwepokotho engenanto.

Ngelo hlobo, andizange ndiye kwiNdibano yeSithili yesiqhelo, ndandisoyikela ukuba uvelwano lwabazalwana luya kuba lukhulu. Ndakhumbula iDVD eyapapashwa ngabantu ethetha ngeendibano zezizwe ngezizwe. Yayibonisa kwiiPhilippines kuquka nomdaniso obizwa ukunkcunkca. Ndicinga ukuba ngumntwana ongaphakathi kum, kodwa ndabukela le DVD ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Kwakhona ndadibana nabazalwana noodade abaninzi bakwiiPhilippines eRome xa ndandisiya apho, yaye ndandisoloko ndichukumiseka bububele babo. Ngoko, ngendibano yesiNgesi eyayingoNovemba eManila ngaloo nyaka, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiye.

Kusuku lokuqala, ndadibana nodade osuka kumntla weePhilippines saza emva kwendibano satya kunye. Sahlala sinxibelelana, yaye ndandihamba izihlandlo eziliqela ukuya kumtyelela. Ngelo xesha, urhulumente wase-UK wayepasisa umthetho oza kuthintela ukufuduka kunye nokunciphisa ubumi base-UK iminyaka elishumi; bekufuneka sihambe ngokukhawuleza ukuba lo sisi ebezakuba ngumfazi wam. Kwaye ke, nge-25 kaDisemba 2012, umfazi wam omtsha wafika kwaye wanikwa ubumi base-UK kungekudala emva koko.

Kwakufanele kube lixesha elimnandi, kodwa kungekudala safumanisa okwahlukileyo koko. AmaNgqina amaninzi ayengasihoyi, ingakumbi mna. Nangona kunjalo Vukani enenqaku ngelo xesha elixhasa isibakala sokuba amadoda atshata ngokukhawuleza kunamabhinqa emva kokufelwa, akuzange kuncede nto. Kwadimaza ukuya kwiintlanganiso yaye ngenye ingokuhlwa ngoxa umfazi wam wayelungiselela ukuya kwiintlanganiso zangoLwesine, ndamxelela ukuba andisayi kubuya. Wavuma wahamba naye.

Isicwangciso sokuphuma

Sagqiba kwelokuba sifunde Iincwadi zeVangeli kwaye Incwadi yeZenzo saza sazibuza ngokucwangcisiweyo, yintoni uThixo noYesu abayifunayo kuthi? Oku kwazisa inkululeko enkulu. Kumashumi amathathu eminyaka edlulileyo, bendijikeleza njenge-Dervish evuthuzayo kwaye andizange ndicinge ukuhla. Bekunokubakho uhambo lokuziva ndinetyala ukuba bendihleli ndibukele imuvi okanye ndihambe ndiyokonwaba usuku lonke. Ngaphandle kokwalusa okanye iintetho nezinto zokulungiselela, ndaba nexesha lokufunda ilizwi likaThixo ngokuzimeleyo ngaphandle kwempembelelo yangaphandle. Yayiziva ihlaziya.

Kodwa ngelo xesha, kwavakala amarhe okuba ndingumwexuki. Ukuba nditshate inyaniso. Ukuba ndidibene nomfazi wam kwiwebhusayithi yomtshakazi waseRashiya njalo njalo. Xa ubani ewashiya amaNgqina, ingakumbi xa ingumdala okanye umzalwana abemgqala njengomntu ongokomoya, kuye kuqaliswe ukungavisisani. Basenokuqalisa ukuthandabuza iinkolelo zabo okanye bafune indlela yokuzithethelela kwiintloko zabo ngesizathu sokuba umzalwana emkile. Le yokugqibela bayenza ngokusebenzisa amanye amabinzana anjengokupholile, ubuthathaka, ukungabikho kokomoya, okanye uwexuko. Yindlela yabo yokukhusela iziseko zabo ezinqabileyo.

Ngelo xesha, ndafunda Akukho nto inokumonela nguBarbara Demick. Ungumntu waseNyakatho Korea. Ukufana phakathi kolawulo lwaseNyakatho Korea kunye noluntu lwaluhambelana. Ubhale malunga nabantu baseNyakatho Korea abaneengcinga ezimbini ezingqubanayo ezintlokweni zabo: ucalucalulo olufana noololiwe abahamba ngemigca enxuseneyo. Kwakukho igosa elicinga ukuba uKim Jong Un unguthixo, kodwa ukungabikho kobungqina bokuxhasa ibango. Ukuba abantu baseNyakatho Korea bathetha esidlangalaleni malunga noku kuphikisana okunjalo, baya kuzifumana bekwindawo enobuqhophololo. Okulusizi kukuba, amandla olawulo, njengakuluntu, kukubahlukanisa ngokupheleleyo abantu balo. Thatha imizuzwana embalwa ukufunda izicatshulwa eziphambili kwincwadi kaDemick kwiwebhusayithi yeGoodreads Akukho nto inokumonela Ucatshulwa nguBarbara Demick | Goodreads

Ndidla ngokuba buhlungu xa ndibona abo babesakuba ngamaNgqina kaYehova bengakholelwa kubukho bukaThixo yaye besenza umsebenzi wehlabathi laseNtshona wokungakhathali. UThixo usinike ilungelo lokuba nenkululeko yokuzikhethela. Ayibobulumko ukugxeka uThixo ngendlela izinto ezenzeka ngayo. IBhayibhile inezilumkiso ezininzi ngokuphathelele ukukholosa ngomntu. Nangona simkile, sonke sisephantsi kwembambano eyaphakanyiswa nguSathana. Ngaba kukunyaniseka kuThixo nakuKristu, okanye kuSathana inzondelelo yempambano egqugqisayo ngoku eNtshona?

Ukugxila kwakhona kubalulekile xa uhamba. Ngoku uwedwa onocelomngeni lokuzondla ngokomoya nokwakha ubuntu obutsha. Ndivolontiye kumbutho wesisa wase-UK ogxile ekufowuneni abantu abadala, abavaleleke ezindlwini nokuba nencoko ende nabo. Ndikwafundele neBA in Humanities (English Literature and Creative Writing). Kwakhona, xa i-COVID ifikile ndenza i-MA ekuBhaleni ngoBuchule. Okumangalisayo kukuba, enye yeentetho zokugqibela zendibano yesiphaluka endazinikelayo yayingemfundo eyongezelelekileyo. Ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndithi ‘uxolo’ kudade oselula ongumFrentshi endathetha naye ngaloo mini. Kumele ukuba kwabakho ukungcangcazela entliziyweni xa ndambuza ukuba wayesenza ntoni eSkotlani. Wayefunda kwiYunivesithi yaseGlasgow.

Ngoku, ndisebenzisa izakhono zokubhala endizinikwe nguThixo ukunceda abantu bangene kwicala labo lokomoya ngokubhloga. Ndikwangumkhweli kunye nentaba kwaye ndihlala ndithandaza ngaphambi kokujonga umhlaba. Ngokungaphephekiyo, uThixo noYesu bathumela abantu ngendlela yam. Konke oku kunceda ekuvaleni isithuba esasingena kumshicileli weMboniselo. Xa sinoYehova noKristu ebomini bethu, asikhe sizive silolo.

Kwiminyaka elishumi elinesithathu, andinaxhala lokuhamba. Ndicinga ngamaGidiyon namaNinive nangona ayengeyonxalenye yentlangano yamaSirayeli, afumana inceba nothando lukaThixo. Kwakukho indoda ekuLuka isahluko 9 eyakhupha iidemon egameni likaYesu yaye abapostile bayichasa kuba yayingeyonxalenye yeqela labo.

Wathi ke uYesu kubo, Musani ukumnqanda, kuba lowo uchasene nani ungakini.

Omnye umntu wathi, ukushiya umbutho kwakufana nokushiya iHotele yaseCalifornia, unokwenza ukuphuma kwakho, kodwa ungaze uhambe ngokwenene. Kodwa andihambisani naloo nto. Kubekho ukufunda nophando olukhulu kwiimbono ezibubuxoki ebezixhasa iimfundiso nemigaqo-nkqubo yombutho. Oko kwathatha ixesha. Imibhalo kaRay Franz noJames Penton, kunye nemvelaphi kaBarbara Anderson ngalo mbutho, yangqineka iluncedo kakhulu. Kodwa ngaphezu kwako konke, ukufunda nje iTestamente eNtsha kukhulula enye kulawulo lweengcinga olwalukhe lwandongamela. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba eyona lahleko inkulu sizazisi zethu. Kwaye njengoMyshkin, sizifumana sikwilizwe lasemzini. Noko ke, iBhayibhile izaliswe ngabantu ababephila kwiimeko ezifanayo.

Ndinombulelo ngabazalwana abaye batsalela ingqalelo yam kwiZibhalo. Ndiyabuxabisa nobomi obutyebileyo endibuphilayo. Ndanikela iintetho kwiiPhilippines, eRoma, eSweden, eNorway, ePoland, eJamani, eLondon, nakubude nobubanzi beSkotlani, kuquka neziqithi ezikunxweme olusentshona. Kwakhona ndanandipha iiNdibano Zezizwe Ngezizwe e-Edinburgh, eBerlin, naseParis. Kodwa, xa umkhusane uphakanyisiwe kwaye indalo yokwenene yombutho ityhilwa, akukho ukuphila kunye nobuxoki; yaba luxinzelelo. Kodwa ukuhamba kufana nesaqhwithi saseAtlantiki, siziva sisophukelwe yinqanawa, kodwa sivuke sikwindawo engcono.

Ngoku, mna nomfazi wam siyasiva isandla esithuthuzelayo sikaThixo noYesu ebomini bethu. Kutshanje, ndiye ndaxilongwa. Bendinedinga lokubonana ne consultant for iziphumo. Safunda isibhalo ngaloo ntsasa njengoko sisenza rhoqo kusasa. INdumiso 91:1,2, XNUMX:

Ngulohlala ekhusi lOsenyangweni;

Uya kuhlala emthunzini kaSomandla.

Ndiya kuthi kuYehova: "Nguwe inqaba yam, inqaba yam;

Thixo wam, endikholose ngaye.

Ndathi kumfazi wam, 'siza kufumana iindaba ezimbi namhlanje.' Wavuma. UThixo wayesoloko esinika izigidimi ezingqalileyo ngeZibhalo. UThixo uyaqhubeka ethetha njengoko ebesoloko ethetha, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ivesi elungileyo ingena ngokungummangaliso emagxeni ethu xa ifuneka.

Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo, iiseli ze-prostate ezandikhonza ngokuthembekileyo, zajika zinobutshaba kwaye zenze imvukelo kwi-pancreas kunye nesibindi kwaye ngubani owaziyo apho kwenye indawo.

Umcebisi owatyhila oku, wandijonga waza wathi, 'Unesibindi ngale nto.'

Ndaphendula ndathi, 'Kunje, kukho umfana ongaphakathi kum. Uye wandilandela ubomi bakhe bonke. Iminyaka yakhe andiyazi, kodwa uhlala ekhona. Uyandithuthuzela yaye ubukho bakhe bundenza ndiqiniseke ukuba uThixo undibekele unaphakade,” ndaphendula ngelitshoyo. Inyaniso kukuba, uThixo ‘ubeke unaphakade ezintliziyweni zethu.’ Ubukho balo mncinane kum buqinisekisa.

Sagoduka ngaloo mini saza sayifunda yonke iNdumiso 91 yaye sathuthuzeleka. Andiziva ukuba amaJamani abiza ntoni torchlusspanik, oko kuqonda ukuba iingcango ziyandivalela. Hayi, ndivuka ndiziva ndinoxolo oluvela kuThixo noKristu kuphela.

[Zonke iindinyana ezicatshulweyo zithathwe kwiBerean Standard Bible, BSB.]